I read something on Substack recently that made my blood boil.
Not just a slight rise in temperature, but a full blown, one hundred degree, steam out of the ears, rage.
I will confess that I have a history with this guy.
We see the world very differently and he has had no issue in publicly criticising me and some of my work with the LGBTI community.
He uses his very conservative faith to lessen the value of women, to justify his degrading tone with scripture, and to place himself, his beliefs and his church as the beacon of all hope and truth.
He doesn’t just annoy me. I think he is dangerous and causes harm.
So what was it that got my goat this time?
He was speaking about VAD (Voluntary Assisted Dying) and how it was evil to take the life of a person. He was advocating for palliative care to extend the life of the person as long as possible, making them comfortable until they breathed their last breath.
I worked in palliative care for three years.
I had three hundred clients in that time and they all died.
Some of those deaths were cruel.
There was no dignity for the person dying. There was unnecessary anguish for the loved ones.
It was hard to watch.
There was no such thing as VAD at the time but over half of my clients asked if there was any way to speed things up.
And I know with my own parents, had they known that they would end up in the depths of dementia with violent and aggressive personalities, they would have chosen to end things years ago.
As a highly sensitive person, it might seem strange that I would support assisted dying.
I know that the grief when those decisions are made and enacted is huge.
But so is the love.
And the care.
And that final gift that the dying person can do for their loved ones – ease their suffering as well as their own – is beautiful.
As a counsellor, my guiding principle is, “Do no harm”.
I like to add to that, “And do good”.
What the guy who posted on Substack was suggesting was causing harm.
It was not good.
It infuriated me that somebody in his position, claiming the moral high ground, would be saying that it is God ordained to remove choice and insist on suffering.
Please hear me, I think palliative care is incredible and the people that work in the field have my utmost respect. They are amazing human beings that go well beyond their job descriptions to provide end of life care that is compassionate and dignified.
Palliative care should always be an option for those that are dying.
But so should VAD for those that are tired of fighting and want peace.
When a HSP gets angry about something their super charged central nervous system magnifies it.
It turns it into a rage.
We rarely express it, but it churns us deeply.
We fantasize about going on a justice fuelled rampage.
Of course we never would – that’s not the highly sensitive thing to do.
Instead we take some deep breaths.
Sit under a tree.
And make a commitment to sit with those that have signed their VAD forms and care for their families when they have breathed their last.
Vent over. I feel better now. Thank you.
– Matt Glover